Life (and Business) Lessons from living with Chronic Pain

I've been living with chronic pain for the last three years. Luckily, my quality of life has been improving and the intensity of the pain has been slowly and steadily decreasing. It took learning a toolbox of strategic coping mechanisms to finally learn how to maintain a sense of well-being and joy while living with the burden of chronic pain.

After doing lots of research online and speaking with experts, I decided to find some answers by following the wisdom of my favorite quote:

If you find not what you seek within, you will never find it without.

So, I meditated and tuned in to my inner voice about how best to maintain well-being under the challenging circumstances. I found three specific steps to take each time I feel pain or discomfort.

1. Stop what you're doing
2. Listen to your body and heart to find out what is needed
3. Respond with a loving act

So what does that mean exactly?

It's pretty easy. As soon as I notice new discomfort or pain - I pause what I'm doing to give it my attention. I check out what I'm sensing and "listen" to my body and heart for cues as to what I need. Am I hungry? Is it time for medication? Am I stiff? tired? tense? upset? lonely? frustrated? etc... Once I figure out what is going on, I respond to the pain or discomfort message with a loving act.

A loving act could be any of the actions I could take to directly address the message from my body or spirit. A loving act might be taking medication or a nap. It might be doing stretching or yoga or listening to a guided meditation CD on visualizing pain away. It might be calling a friend or making a date for coffee because I'm lonely. It might be calling a doctor or pharmacist to address a concern. It might be scheduling a Reiki session or a massage to give my body some positive attention. It might be asking someone for help.

The idea is to respond to the messages from my body and heart in a nurturing way, rather than letting myself sink into a cycle of frustration, helplessness and depression about being in pain.

Since I've started following these steps - I've noticed that my quality of life has improved drastically. This is mostly due to my outlook shifting from feeling like a victim of circumstances outside my control to feeling empowered, valued and loved as I do kind, gentle and nurturing things for myself.

While I originally used these steps to deal with chronic pain, I found that they were also useful for building a heart-centered business.

In a heart-centered business, a number of things are happening. Doing the work to identify your special gifts and talents and to promote yourself and your business often brings self-worth issues to the surface that you didn't have to deal with before. These need to be worked through in a gentle and nurturing way.

Simultaneously, you become a person who is there for others, helping them through their own physical or emotional pain, and it's important not to get lost in the process. When you are serving in a role as a caregiver or healing ally for others, it's crucial to be taking the best care of yourself possible. You've got to be able to hear the messages from your own body and heart, and to set aside the time and energy to respond to your own needs with loving-kindness.

In fact, it's crucial to set aside time to check in with yourself regularly. When you're building a heart-centered business, you have to pay special attention not just to what your body needs, but to what your own heart and spirit need. That's why I advise all my clients to schedule self-care (which includes time with family and friends, quiet restorative/creative time, exercise and good nutrition, and receiving treatments from others) into their schedule first.

Creating a routine or schedule is often counter-intuitive for the free spirits who love to work for themselves, but it's crucial to maintaining good boundaries around your own needs and for carving out the time to work on and in your business. You don't have to account for every minute of the day, but carving out sacred time to take care of yourself each day makes a big difference. (As does carving out sacred time each week to work on growing your business.)

And last, but incredibly important for sustainability, get realistic about your schedule. I sometimes have bad pain days, and what I did was design my schedule so that I could get through it even on one of those days where the pain is flaring up. I build downtime into the schedule to account for breaks I would need on a day where I wasn't feeling too great. Doing this allows me to get through all 5 or 6 days that I am working each week. I pace my schedule to accommodate the unpredictable difficult days and to be a breeze on days I feel great.

This technique can be helpful for anyone who has a tendency to pack days full of goals, deadlines and achievement expectations that aren't realistic. Sustained productivity comes from maintaining a steady pace with breaks instead of trying to cram as much as possible into the day. I highly recommend you try this approach!

Take a break and relax

When I was in high school, my favorite English teacher told me that the key to producing an "A" essay paper was to stop working once an hour for a 1-5 minute break to rest my mind and engage my body. She encouraged me to stretch, go outside or simply close my eyes and take a deep breath. Another teacher encouraged me to overcome those notorious afternoon slumps by having a high protein snack and exercising for 15-60 minutes to wake up my body and increase my energy for the rest of the day. The advice from these two smart women stuck with me over the past 15+ years and proved to be true time and time again. (I got a lot of A's in school.)

As I learned, taking a break is one of the best things you can do to re-energize, regain focus, and keep up the level of productivity that you desire. If you're anything like me, you may concentrate so hard on what you're doing that the time passes quickly. One of my tricks for fitting in breaks is to schedule them ahead of time and have my calendar remind me on my phone If you're moving around or at home, try setting a timer on your stove or microwave to signal it's time for a break.

Setting reminders is easy - the hardest thing for most of us even when we have good intentions is to actually stop and relax. If you find yourself resisting a break, remind yourself that this break is going to help you reach your goals faster and easier because you'll be focused and rejuvenated when you get back to work.

Cultivating a state of relaxation that stays with you day in and day out makes a significant difference in your health, helps you achieve your career and life goals, and makes life as enjoyable as possible. Yet it's not something that our culture really understands, especially how to practice it. I have been talking to my clients quite a bit recently about what relaxation is - and what it isn't.

I've found there are some common misconceptions about relaxation that make it seem hard to achieve, undesireable or just plain old mistaken for "entertainment" or "leisure" activities like sports, working out and hitting the night life.

Being relaxed is not: grogginess, sleepiness, or tiredness.

Sometimes when you relax, you become aware of how tired you already were because you are better able to hear your body's signals - but the need for rest is what it is - it is not relaxation.

Relaxation is not fatigue or lethargy either.

Rather, when relaxed, your muscles and joints flow; in fact, all of your body systems flow easily because they are not disrupted by tension. Tension, believe it or not, actually wastes energy and can wear you out. It takes fuel to keep those muscles contracted and emotions high, and that energy you spend keeping up the tension habit could be used for something you enjoy doing. With practice, you can retrain your muscles and your emotions to stay relaxed and free up more energy to fuel your life.

Relaxation is not a state of being so laid back that nothing bothers you and you never have difficult emotions. That state is called apathy! Rather, relaxation is being comfortable enough to accept your emotions as they are, without giving them any more or less importance than is necessary. It's about being calm enough to respond to a situation with your mind and heart, not reacting from a place of fear or pain. It's about having enough calm stored up that even when life throws you curveballs, you have the resiliency to get back to your center quickly.

Relaxation is a state of calm responsiveness, where your body and mind are at rest but ready to respond to whatever situation arises. When I think about an expert on relaxation, a martial arts master from those late 80's movies pops into my mind. He is someone who is very clearly at ease with his body and tuned into how he can use it well. In addition, this guy is usually smiling and enjoying the moment, whether it is dangerous or not. He is very aware and alert to everything going on around him, but he is at rest and calm. He does not react to situations, rather he responds calmly using the least amount of energy necessary to deal with it and accomplish his goal.

Now, of course we aren't all going to become a martial arts master, but everybody can learn how to be comfortable with their bodies and emotions, and maintain an alert, focused mind that can appreciate the moment no matter whether it is exciting, joyful, dull or difficult. We can even learn how to respond instead of react.

There are many active and passive ways to cultivate the art of relaxation. While some require discipline like martial arts, qigong, yoga, and meditation, there are others that require less work from you like bodywork, hypnotherapy, going to a spa etc... I've found a pretty cool way to train the body with a series of Reiki sessions combined with breathing cues. I've had great success using this with my clients. How you cultivate relaxation in your life is really up to you - what's important is that you do it.

Experiment this week - try scheduling a couple of breaks for yourself to relax and TAKE THEM. I bet you'll be glad you did!

Digging up your inner stuff

Digging up your inner stuff

In the very near future, my Reiki Master students will be graduating from the 5 month intensive training program with their Reiki Master certification. You might think that a Reiki Master program is all about learning the Reiki System of Natural Healing techniques and how to use them on others.

That doesn't really cover it though. Reiki Master training is so much more - it's an investment in yourself. Working with energy is working with emotions, mental habits and behavioral patterns, especially your own. If you aren't clear about your own inner stuff, you're not going to be able to facilitate healing on a Reiki Master level for someone else. Reiki Master training is truly mastery of yourself. (If you're interested in studying with me, look here.)

It's been amazing to watch these perservering students focus on self-care in the face of much homework practicing techniques on volunteers over the last five months. It's been empowering to witness them discover inside themselves the capacity to do things they had never considered before. Even more powerful than their courageous acts of facing their doubts and fears has been seeing them begin to manifest the dreams they've held quietly in their hearts for a long while.

I remember back to when I first graduated with my Masters Degree in Natural Health and then later with my Reiki Master certification. I was burning with passion and ready to launch myself out into the world as a wellness practitioner to help others on their healing journeys.

This was years ago before the wellness industry became a hot topic, and I had no idea how to start a practice. It was many years of attempts with other jobs to pay the bills in between before I finally figured out what it takes to be a successful self-employed service professional.

It's not what you might think.

It's not being the best in your field or even knowing all the special business systems that self-employed entrepreneurs use.

It's really all about your inner stuff.

Where you are emotionally, psychologically and spiritually affects your clarity of vision. You need a clear outer vision - how you feel called to be of service in the world - and clear inner vision - knowing and trusting yourself and being open to inspiration. That is what it takes to succeed as a service professional with dreams of healing and changing the world.

Without this clarity of vision, your inner fears, doubts and subconcious patterns are going to put up roadblocks and hold you back from living out your calling. They will trip you up and hold you back from being as successful as you desire.

And there is nothing better for getting really deep perspective on yourself than working with other like-minded individuals who are also pursuing their dreams. The inspiration of motivated, passionate, compassionate individuals who are clearing away the blocks in their path to success can create powerful healing and bigger dreams for all.

In the last year, I have been working with heart-centered practitioners and entrepreneurs, sometimes one-on-one, but often pulling them together into groups to collaborate and dig deep in working on their inner stuff. These individuals are moving forward with their dreams to be of service and change the world from a place of clarity and confidence. Over the summer, I will be sharing their success stories with you.

If you have a dream and a calling to be of service too, but you don't know quite how to work through your inner stuff, and if its keeping you from getting started or moving your dreams to the next level, one of my programs may be for you.

What if you are already good enough?

In preparation for the creative retreat I attended last weekend, my mentor had all of the participants read The Soul of Money: Reclaiming the Wealth of our Inner Resources by Lynne Twist.

Ms. Twist, a long time fundraiser and activist for The Hunger Project who has worked closely with some of the most resource rich and resource poor individuals and communities in the world, puts forth some revolutionary ideas about our capacity to experience abundance no matter where we are in the world and what our access to money is like.

She actually challenges us to let go of the money myths that have become the foundations of our Western capitalist culture ("there isn't enough to go around so stockpile as much as you can for you and yours") and replace them with a liberating, and ancient, myth of abundance ("there is enough for all of us").

At this creative retreat, we explored how to weave the myth of abundance into our businesses, lifestyle and even spirituality. As we explored how to integrate our passions and businesses with our chosen lifestyle, we were actually exploring how the paradigm of enough could liberate, not just our relationship with money, but our relationship with ourselves, our families, our clients, and all the other people in our communities.

A series of "what if" questions started popping into my mind as the ramifications of the myth of abundance began to sink into my consciousness.

• What if individuals started to realize that they are good enough just as they are?
• What if communities began to see that there are enough resources for everyone if they work together?
• What if there is always enough love and support to nourish me and everyone else?
• What if none of us has to earn dignity, worth, value, love, abundance, opportunities, appreciation, gifts, income and anything else our hearts desire?
• What if we are all inherently good enough to receive these gifts?
• What if it's just a matter of being open to revealing this abundance inside of ourselves and our communities?

Though my mentor has been trying to teach me this for a while, it wasn't until I came home from the retreat did I start to really understand how my entire life and my business could be different if I approached it from this lens of abundance.

Your Transformational Homework this week:

Listen to my lecture & guided meditation about how to open the flow of abundance in your life. Click here to listen.

Reflect on these questions, write in your journal and talk about them with others.

What if you are already good enough? How would that change your life and work?

What if your gifts are enough? What if following your bliss is enough?

Put my manifesto up somewhere you can read it every day:

I AM ENOUGH
by Joanna Scaparotti

"By virtue of being conceived, I have inherent dignity, value and worth. I am loved unconditionally, and I am provided for completely. Abundance, love, appreciation and opportunities are my birthright. It is my duty to open my heart and receive. I am receptive and joyfully receiving the gifts, opportunities, appreciation and love the Universe provides me.

I work to be of Service and fully express my joy, love and appreciation of the gifts given to me. I do not work to prove my worth, earn my keep, or to provide the means to live my life. I express my gifts by surrendering fear, control, doubt, self-criticism, and guilt. Instead I open to unconditional love and blessings.

And I ask today and every day - how can I serve? How can I express my gifts? How can I receive? How can I give?"

Still stuck?

Listen to Joanna's guided meditation for dreaming without limitations from her Lulu store here, or schedule a private breakthrough session with Joanna on the phone or in person.

Are you getting in your own way?

The truth is that sometimes you get in your own way.

When this happens, you're not always aware of it at first, and it usually has more to do with your emotional state than anything else. These roadblocks that you create for yourself come from fears and limiting beliefs. We make decisions about what is and isn't possible in our lives (and careers) based on these subconscious factors that play out without our awareness at times.

It often takes hitting a pretty hard block in the road and deep frustration and disappointment before you can start to realize that you are getting in your own way, blocking the success you really want to manifest in your life.

Getting really clear about your heart's desire can be a challenge if there are roadblocks in the way. Roadblocks can include conscious or subconscious fears, limiting beliefs, self-sabotaging habits, procrastination, your own doubts, and the doubts of people in your life.

What you may not know is that roadblocks - those subconscious fears, habits or patterns - are there to protect you, even if they aren't really helping you attain your goals at the moment. So it can be very helpful to approach them from a gentle place of compassion in order to best learn what you need to move forward from that stuck place.

Often these fears and beliefs about who we are and how we are supposed to act are put into place by our minds while we are still children. We make up rules about what we're supposed to do based on our limited understanding of what's happening in our environment. These assumptions continue to play out in adulthood until we challenge and unravel them so that we can move forward in our lives.

So how do you get out of your own way?

Trust yourself and your inner guidance. I think this is the hardest part. Often, on some level, I know what I need to do to overcome or remove the roadblocks in my way. Yet, what I need to do is often something I don't like or don't believe. I think this is true for most of us.

And yet accessing your inner guidance is not something most of us are good at. We look to others to figure out what's right or wrong, instead of looking inside our hearts to find out what's exactly what we need and desire.

Developing the skill of listening to your inner wisdom is crucial to quickly and gently overcoming the emotional roadblocks that get in the way.

Even if you don't like or don't believe the inner wisdom you receive when you listen to your heart for guidance, I want you to take that step anyways. Suspend disbelief, and just try it and see what happens before you judge it. Even if you don't like it.

Developing the confidence to trust your inner guidance and take those steps to move forward takes practice, and it's what sets you up to be successful in creating the life you desire.

Your Transformational Homework this week:

Sit or recline comfortably somewhere you won't be disturbed for about 30 minutes. Have your journal with you. Relax.

Ask yourself this question: "What's holding me back from achieving this practice?" and just wait with an open mind for an answer to float into your mind.

Once you have an idea in mind about your biggest or most urgent roadblock, bring it to mind. Reflect on it, but don't give up.

Ask yourself these questions: "How does this roadblock serve me? How is it protecting me or what is it giving me?"

Once you have clarity about your most pressing roadblock, it's now time to find out how to get around it. Ask yourself: "What step can I take right now to get around or remove this road block and move closer to achieving my vision?"

Write down all your observations, thoughts and feelings in your journal. Also write down the step that came to you for getting around or removing the roadblock that's challenging you right now.

Not great at listening to your inner guidance on your own?

Download Joanna's guided meditation for overcoming roadblocks from her Lulu store here, or schedule a private breakthrough session with Joanna on the phone or in person.