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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Lessons from labor

I am writing this week's article from the hospital with a friend who has been laboring with her first child for over 48 hours. It's been an emotional journey the last couple of days for all of us. It's been powerful watching my friend balance her willpower, stamina and desire to meet her son with the surrender required by the birthing process.

One of the most poignant lessons has been the reminder that even when you do everything in your power to encourage something to happen, there are times that you just have to wait and let things take their natural course.


That's a potent lesson in this day and age, not only for expectant mothers, but for all of us.

How often do we pick our goals and decide exactly how we are going to achieve them? It can be so comforting to predict how we're going to act, what we're going to do, who we're going to do it with and what will happen. We often get so caught up in doing things the way we predetermined to do them that we miss the wonderful opportunities to do things differently, perhaps even more delightfully, that present themselves as we journey through life.

Watching my friend labor has been a reminder that most of the time we truly do not have power over the mysterious ways of the universe. It's also been a nice reminder about what we ALWAYS have power over: how we respond to circumstances beyond our control. We can get caught up in what we wanted to happen and be unhappy when things don't go the way we hope or expect, or, like my friend, we can stay fully present in the moment and make choices that honor the natural process.

My friends have really been an inspiration in how they've handled this laboring journey - they have become skilled at making choices in the best interest of mom and baby based on the factors available at each different point in time that the path forks.

In fact, my coach calls this type of decision making process "dancing with spirit" - it's when you keep your end goal in mind yet make decisions based on what's the best option, what's healthiest, what your heart feels is right based on what you know right NOW while letting go of all expectations of how things should go.

We can all benefit from my friends example. While you may have a vision in your mind of what you desire in your life, whether it's a new baby or a new business or even the outcome of a project - instead of getting hung up on HOW you expect to achieve your end goal, in my friends' case meeting their new son, you can release all expectations of HOW your goal will be achieved and focus instead on being in the moment and giving yourself the freedom to be open to choices and opportunities that you hadn't originally imagined were possible.

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