The holidays are quickly approaching, and this can be a very stressful time of year. Personally, I've been struggling to find a way to get through every day this week between trying to finish my to-do list for the holidays (I celebrate both Yule and Christmas), be present with my family (we had an emergency this week), wrap up my year end projects, deal with cancellations and the messy and dangerous sidewalks after the recent snowstorms that hit New England (it is snowing again today), keep up with my husband and our chores around the house, and pay enough attention to my cats.
After trying to get my attention, and me snapping at him to shush, a short while ago my coon cat gave me a look of utter disdain and ran and hid behind the futon in my office. I took that as a sign. I sat down on the futon and just breathed. I noticed my heart was pounding and my thoughts were racing. Wow, I was surprised! I had no idea I was feeling enough pressure to be physically stressed out because I hadn't taken the time to check in with myself all week.
So, I decided to stay there and keep breathing slowly, exhaling longer than inhaling to remind my body to relax. I inhaled for a count of four and exhaled for a count of 6. Gradually the tension left my body, and my breathing naturally became deeper and longer. Then I noticed a gentle, growing feeling of peace and calm. The music playing in the background sounded sweeter, even the snowfall outside my window looked prettier. After a few more moments of this, my cat came out of hiding. He gave me a critical once over, and then, satisfied, jumped up on the futon and licked me affectionately. Boy do I feel better now.
Take a hint from my cat. If you are busy, under pressure, feeling rushed, or stressed, just take a few minutes to breathe slowly. Ignore your racing heart and mind, and let your long slow exhales relax your body and bring back some peace and joy, the tidings of this holiday season.
about Joanna
- Joanna Scaparotti
- Beverly, MA, United States
- Joanna's passion is creating mindful entrepreneurship and soul-centered authentic businesses in the wellness industry that seamlessly integrate values such as abundance, service and wellness with the freedom of flexible lifestyles and the benefits of creative community collaboration.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
From Grinch to Guru
Ah, the original version of my previous post was published on The Huffington Post this evening. You can read my article From Grinch to Guru here...
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Lessons from the Grinch
The holidays used to stress me out. They made me so miserable that I even tried different ways to persuade my family to stop celebrating the holidays so enthusiastically. I was like the Grinch, trying to stop Christmas because it wasn't any fun for me and usually made me sick, too.
There were three things about Christmas that made me miserable - gifts, sweets, and celebrations. My panic about finding the perfect gifts to fulfill my family holiday obligations began each year right after Labor Day. And then when the holiday season began to crank out the sweets, candies, cookies and pies that everyone loves to make and give this time of year, my stress would escalate. I hated to offend and disappoint, but my body does not process sugar well. Either I felt bad saying no and declining treats, or I ate them and became physically ill. By the time the December marathon of family gatherings, work celebrations, and parties with friends came along, I would be exhausted, achy, and sick from the tension, sweets and stress. It was miserable, and I'd end up in bed for a week in January recovering from the toll the holidays took on my body, mind and spirit.
One year, I just couldn’t go through with it. I turned the holidays over to everyone else and took a break. I let my husband manage the presents, and I said "No" to sweets, invitations, and everything else. I stepped back, and from a calmer perspective, to my surprise, I remembered what the holiday traditions are all about. Just like the Grinch who made this discovery in the beloved tale by Dr. Seuss, I reconnected with the reason why we have holiday traditions every year - to celebrate the people and relationships that enrich our lives with love, respect and gratitude.
Most importantly, I realized that I owed it to myself to find an approach to the holidays that let me stay in touch with the meaningful aspects. This meant being relaxed and fully present for those special moments of connection with others. I finally settled on an approach to the holidays that I really enjoy. It’s a combination of prioritizing my own well-being, going with the flow, and finding moments to cherish. I enjoy the holidays now because I stick with the 10 guidelines for stress free holidays that work for me year after year now. You can read those guidelines here.
There were three things about Christmas that made me miserable - gifts, sweets, and celebrations. My panic about finding the perfect gifts to fulfill my family holiday obligations began each year right after Labor Day. And then when the holiday season began to crank out the sweets, candies, cookies and pies that everyone loves to make and give this time of year, my stress would escalate. I hated to offend and disappoint, but my body does not process sugar well. Either I felt bad saying no and declining treats, or I ate them and became physically ill. By the time the December marathon of family gatherings, work celebrations, and parties with friends came along, I would be exhausted, achy, and sick from the tension, sweets and stress. It was miserable, and I'd end up in bed for a week in January recovering from the toll the holidays took on my body, mind and spirit.
One year, I just couldn’t go through with it. I turned the holidays over to everyone else and took a break. I let my husband manage the presents, and I said "No" to sweets, invitations, and everything else. I stepped back, and from a calmer perspective, to my surprise, I remembered what the holiday traditions are all about. Just like the Grinch who made this discovery in the beloved tale by Dr. Seuss, I reconnected with the reason why we have holiday traditions every year - to celebrate the people and relationships that enrich our lives with love, respect and gratitude.
Most importantly, I realized that I owed it to myself to find an approach to the holidays that let me stay in touch with the meaningful aspects. This meant being relaxed and fully present for those special moments of connection with others. I finally settled on an approach to the holidays that I really enjoy. It’s a combination of prioritizing my own well-being, going with the flow, and finding moments to cherish. I enjoy the holidays now because I stick with the 10 guidelines for stress free holidays that work for me year after year now. You can read those guidelines here.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Homeostasis
The root of well-being is balance.
Heck, science has word just for this. It's homeostasis: n. The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes. Our bodies know how to maintain internal balance to keep us alive, for the most part, no matter what choices we make. Even symptoms of stress, disease or illness are just techniques our bodies use to bring us back into harmony. It's only when our bodies have been out of balance for so long, often through our own lifestyle choices, or through the sheer years of old age, do we reach such a point of such damage and degeneration that there is no returning.
While we can't avoid the inevitable, we can postpone it for as long as possible. Learning to make choices and take actions on our bodies that are in harmony with the internal balance that our bodies (and spirits) need is the path to well-being. It's a life-long journey.
Heck, science has word just for this. It's homeostasis: n. The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes. Our bodies know how to maintain internal balance to keep us alive, for the most part, no matter what choices we make. Even symptoms of stress, disease or illness are just techniques our bodies use to bring us back into harmony. It's only when our bodies have been out of balance for so long, often through our own lifestyle choices, or through the sheer years of old age, do we reach such a point of such damage and degeneration that there is no returning.
While we can't avoid the inevitable, we can postpone it for as long as possible. Learning to make choices and take actions on our bodies that are in harmony with the internal balance that our bodies (and spirits) need is the path to well-being. It's a life-long journey.
How to rest more
One dynamic that is particularly challenging in our culture is balancing our innate needs for rest and movement. When we are super busy all the time, always moving, or regularly tense or anxious, our bodies bring us back into balance by manifesting symptoms that land us in bed so we can rest and rejuvenate and return to homeostasis.
When your goal is wellness, the challenge is developing awareness of what's out of wack and practicing techniques that get you back to middle ground before you get stuck, burned out or run down. We're all different, so what's out of balance for one person is totally unique and may not be the same for another. If you're not sure where you are in the spectrum, you can always ask a trusted friend or family member for their honest assessment.
Once you know what you need more of (or less of), you are empowered to take action to get back to equilibrium. It's a dynamic dance though, which is why I think of wellness as a life-long practice. It's not what you do today or tomorrow, it's the culmination of all the little choices you make every day over the length of your life.
Ok so philosophy aside, there are practical techniques you can practice to bring yourself into balance. If you need to relax more, you can schedule downtime for yourself and practice doing leisure activities. Just like when you begin an exercise program, you're most successful if you take baby steps. Start with just 5 or 10 minutes three times a week.
Start with a leisure activity that gives you something to do while practicing rest and relaxation like reading a book, petting an animal, knitting or painting. Eventually you might add 10 more minutes onto your sessions and a few additional days a week and flex your skills with some intermediate activities such as reflecting on your life, writing in a journal, or drinking a hot beverage in a cozy room. As you work up to a deeper state of peace and calm and become adept at being still, you might try more advanced resting techniques like sitting and looking out your window observing life, or meditating and quieting the mind.
It might seem silly, but I'm sure you know someone who does not know how to relax and rest. It's a skill that can be developed with practice - I promise. And the benefits to your health, your sanity and your well-being are priceless. For more information about what relaxation is and what it isn't, take a look here.
When your goal is wellness, the challenge is developing awareness of what's out of wack and practicing techniques that get you back to middle ground before you get stuck, burned out or run down. We're all different, so what's out of balance for one person is totally unique and may not be the same for another. If you're not sure where you are in the spectrum, you can always ask a trusted friend or family member for their honest assessment.
Once you know what you need more of (or less of), you are empowered to take action to get back to equilibrium. It's a dynamic dance though, which is why I think of wellness as a life-long practice. It's not what you do today or tomorrow, it's the culmination of all the little choices you make every day over the length of your life.
Ok so philosophy aside, there are practical techniques you can practice to bring yourself into balance. If you need to relax more, you can schedule downtime for yourself and practice doing leisure activities. Just like when you begin an exercise program, you're most successful if you take baby steps. Start with just 5 or 10 minutes three times a week.
Start with a leisure activity that gives you something to do while practicing rest and relaxation like reading a book, petting an animal, knitting or painting. Eventually you might add 10 more minutes onto your sessions and a few additional days a week and flex your skills with some intermediate activities such as reflecting on your life, writing in a journal, or drinking a hot beverage in a cozy room. As you work up to a deeper state of peace and calm and become adept at being still, you might try more advanced resting techniques like sitting and looking out your window observing life, or meditating and quieting the mind.
It might seem silly, but I'm sure you know someone who does not know how to relax and rest. It's a skill that can be developed with practice - I promise. And the benefits to your health, your sanity and your well-being are priceless. For more information about what relaxation is and what it isn't, take a look here.
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