Life (and Business) Lessons from living with Chronic Pain

I've been living with chronic pain for the last three years. Luckily, my quality of life has been improving and the intensity of the pain has been slowly and steadily decreasing. It took learning a toolbox of strategic coping mechanisms to finally learn how to maintain a sense of well-being and joy while living with the burden of chronic pain.

After doing lots of research online and speaking with experts, I decided to find some answers by following the wisdom of my favorite quote:

If you find not what you seek within, you will never find it without.

So, I meditated and tuned in to my inner voice about how best to maintain well-being under the challenging circumstances. I found three specific steps to take each time I feel pain or discomfort.

1. Stop what you're doing
2. Listen to your body and heart to find out what is needed
3. Respond with a loving act

So what does that mean exactly?

It's pretty easy. As soon as I notice new discomfort or pain - I pause what I'm doing to give it my attention. I check out what I'm sensing and "listen" to my body and heart for cues as to what I need. Am I hungry? Is it time for medication? Am I stiff? tired? tense? upset? lonely? frustrated? etc... Once I figure out what is going on, I respond to the pain or discomfort message with a loving act.

A loving act could be any of the actions I could take to directly address the message from my body or spirit. A loving act might be taking medication or a nap. It might be doing stretching or yoga or listening to a guided meditation CD on visualizing pain away. It might be calling a friend or making a date for coffee because I'm lonely. It might be calling a doctor or pharmacist to address a concern. It might be scheduling a Reiki session or a massage to give my body some positive attention. It might be asking someone for help.

The idea is to respond to the messages from my body and heart in a nurturing way, rather than letting myself sink into a cycle of frustration, helplessness and depression about being in pain.

Since I've started following these steps - I've noticed that my quality of life has improved drastically. This is mostly due to my outlook shifting from feeling like a victim of circumstances outside my control to feeling empowered, valued and loved as I do kind, gentle and nurturing things for myself.

While I originally used these steps to deal with chronic pain, I found that they were also useful for building a heart-centered business.

In a heart-centered business, a number of things are happening. Doing the work to identify your special gifts and talents and to promote yourself and your business often brings self-worth issues to the surface that you didn't have to deal with before. These need to be worked through in a gentle and nurturing way.

Simultaneously, you become a person who is there for others, helping them through their own physical or emotional pain, and it's important not to get lost in the process. When you are serving in a role as a caregiver or healing ally for others, it's crucial to be taking the best care of yourself possible. You've got to be able to hear the messages from your own body and heart, and to set aside the time and energy to respond to your own needs with loving-kindness.

In fact, it's crucial to set aside time to check in with yourself regularly. When you're building a heart-centered business, you have to pay special attention not just to what your body needs, but to what your own heart and spirit need. That's why I advise all my clients to schedule self-care (which includes time with family and friends, quiet restorative/creative time, exercise and good nutrition, and receiving treatments from others) into their schedule first.

Creating a routine or schedule is often counter-intuitive for the free spirits who love to work for themselves, but it's crucial to maintaining good boundaries around your own needs and for carving out the time to work on and in your business. You don't have to account for every minute of the day, but carving out sacred time to take care of yourself each day makes a big difference. (As does carving out sacred time each week to work on growing your business.)

And last, but incredibly important for sustainability, get realistic about your schedule. I sometimes have bad pain days, and what I did was design my schedule so that I could get through it even on one of those days where the pain is flaring up. I build downtime into the schedule to account for breaks I would need on a day where I wasn't feeling too great. Doing this allows me to get through all 5 or 6 days that I am working each week. I pace my schedule to accommodate the unpredictable difficult days and to be a breeze on days I feel great.

This technique can be helpful for anyone who has a tendency to pack days full of goals, deadlines and achievement expectations that aren't realistic. Sustained productivity comes from maintaining a steady pace with breaks instead of trying to cram as much as possible into the day. I highly recommend you try this approach!